Marchuary

We call it March because it's time to get going. To space. Let's build a space elevator. Come on. We can't have a murder on the space elevator until we have the space elevator.

Multimedia Tie-Ins

Has anybody, Amazon for example, put customizable tier lists on the websites for their shows? They should, right?

Addendum

Another shared element of fantasy and science fiction is that someone who gets cut in half might get old, what with all the resurrection and the cloning and the surgery and the cyborgization and the holograms and the body doubles and the dopplegangers and the demonic pacts and the healing tanks and the divine intervention and the time travel and so forth.

The One Thing Fantasy and Science Fiction Share

Cutting people in half. Never gets old.

Big News!

People are still reading fantasy! I'm not sure they should, though. We should be living it by now. Does anyone think the major governments of the world don't control portals into other realms full of magic and exotic materials? That's why they aren't building cooler tanks.

Mountains and Stars

When the land was entirely flat, long ago, two clans contested for the rulership. They were the mountains and the stars, the first things that were. Their battles cannot be imagined today, but the result of them can still be seen. The blood shed then became the oceans, the mountains grew mighty, and the stars succumbed to defeat and eternal exile.
From time to time a star tests the fortitude of the mountains and finds it formidable still. Your Exile Sword is made from a brave star's corpse. It has the strength of bravery, but it can never win against a Sovereign Sword made from mountain's metal. Seek the Erosion Sword, hero, but do not be surprised if it is your own life that is worn away.
Finis

The Challenges of Spaceflight

The matchmaking pool for games and sports will be alarmingly small. We'd better improve our bot technology for several definitions of "bot."

Neo-Ludditism

There's going to be a lot of resistance to a function that examines the reader's data in changes descriptions of the main character to match it, but we just have to get used to it.

Addendum

Shouldn't the subtitle be the title? What kind of name is Magic? At least put an exclamation point on it. And in what way does the Gathering modify or clarify Magic? The whole thing is bizarre.

Picking at Old Wounds

I don't think Magic: The Gathering gets nearly enough attention, as a name. Isn't it weird? Isn't it thoroughly odd?

Regarding the Latest Controversy

No, people made out of gold would not be useful only for melting down. They can stand outside the doors at galas as well. I was not calling for a profitable little murder at some undefined point in the future.

The Three Ages of Man

"I will make men of gold," the first god declared, "beautiful and immune to corruption."
"I will make men of iron," the second god declared, "strong and hard, impervious to the attacks of beasts."
"I will make men of a bunch of stuff I grabbed," the third god declared.
"What's the advantage of that?" the others asked.
"I've got a hundred out already while you two are working on your first. Watch out there, pal! Can't have the eyes be different sizes! My people have already overrun the world, but keep working on it."
Therefore we await the advent of the men of gold and the men of iron, because they will probably be helpful to us, the rulers of everything beneath heaven, when finally they come.
Finis

Showing Development in a Fantasy Setting

Fireball VI

Appropriate Sayings

You used to be able to say "X will endure as long as King's Raid," and you still can, but it means something totally different now.

Addendum

The prurient parody version of Loom will feature a character named Throbbin Bedbare.

Considering Unconventional Markets

What do you think the market for fantasy and science fiction audio cassettes these days is? What do you mean, none? The rich backstory of Loom was on tape. You think you're better than Loom? What do you mean, yes?

Addendum

"Tidal fantasy" refers to how the tides have shifted in various ways, but there will definitely be giant whales that eat whole ships in it.

Q&A Corner

Q. How do I get across that my setting is full of magic and grand deeds?
A. Slivers of dead gods are a standard currency.
Q. How do I get across that my setting has dragons in it?
A. Here's the first line: "That was the day I saw a dragon."
Q. How do I get across that my orcs are noble and cool and stuff?
A. Here's the title: Neo-Fantasy Is All Out of Ideas
Q. What comes after neo-fantasy?
A. Rachet fantasy, then palin-fantasy, then intimate fantasy (intasy), then tidal fantasy.

Hero of Competence

Five men met at a crossroads and one slew the other four. That was common enough, but strangely, he said this.
"Each of those men committed a crime. The first was weakness, the second incapability, the third powerlessness, and the fourth clumsiness. Until now you have regarded trivialities as sins and ignored the true transgressions. Correct your behavior."
Everyone who heard the story reconsidered his way of life, not wishing to be killed by a powerful warrior. In the end, the people as a whole concluded they ought to hunt him down and kill him rather than be found wanting by his standards instead of their own.
They confronted the man, but he simply laughed. "Don't you know? The men I killed are the north, the south, the east, and the west, for everyone in every direction is at fault and will die someday until you realize your own incompetence are what keep you from immortality. As for me, I don't represent anything. I'm just the first to figure it out."
The people of the world stabbed him for hours without killing him, at the end of which they admitted they were bad. He told them that was the foundation and left. From that day, true sages began to appear in the world.
Finis

Future Automotive Aesthetics

In World War II, people tried out all kinds of tanks, but now they're more or less all the same. Will that happen to cars? Should our science fiction settings have personal car, bulk cargo car, armored car, and nothing else? Or will they have more varieties than ever because improved industrial capacity will make more particular designs possible? I think the former, but I don't care about cars at all.

Addendum

That's just an exuse, though. It never even played Smite.

A Failed Bet

I thought AI would kill us all before Smite went into maintenance mode, but it turns out AI is going to kill us all because it's mad about no more Smite updates.

Addendum

Relatively speaking, of course. An empire can't be counted upon for reliable law enforcement across all its possessions, territories, client kingdoms, and so forth. What you really want is a mage judge.

Speaking of Law Enforcement

You know what you want to cut down on theft? Non-evil empires.

The Transfer of Brilliance

You think stealing is good to do so long as you aren't caught? Listen to this story then. Formerly the sun resented the moon's greater brightness. It therefore went to all the animals, telling them, "Take away the moon's cloak and give it to me! I will reward you for it."
Of all the animals, only Salmon, Herring, Trout, and their relatives were stupid enough to listen. They entered the bower where the moon rests during the day as easily as laughing, for the moon was not on guard against such foolishness. They hurried back to the sun with the stolen cloak.
"Put it on me right away! The honor of doing so is the first of your rewards."
The silly fish did so, and forthwith the cloak gave forth radiance and heat too great for any animal to bear. The fish screamed and ran. They didn't stop even after they jumped into lakes, rivers, and oceans to relieve their pain, and they swam so far that they lost their legs. Now they can't come back on the land. The moon never caught them, but do you envy their fate?
Finis

The Character of February

Short and cold. Does Valentine's Day fit in here? It does not. Maybe that was when he died or was born or decided to throw a party, but let's pick one of the other ones and move this over to May-July. To fill the gap, we'll have a day to celebrate the imminent end of February, on the 25th or thereabouts.