Addendum

You can use "unprepossessing" too, but your main character had better be a priest who solves crimes or something of that sort.

Describing Your Main Character

It's tricky, isn't it? Red hair or fiery red? Flashing eyes, glinting eyes, sparkling eyes, piercing eyes? That's what you might think, but you're wrong. The answer is "heroic." Heroic hair, heroic eyes, a heroic build and heroic height, heroic hands which end in heroic figures. Nobody actually pictures this stuff, they just want to know the guy's role in the story so they know whether to cast Sean Connery or old Sean Connery.

Approaches to Proselytization

One day came a prophet to the city who already in the country had inspired many followers, and he said, "Heed! He exists, the god who is called Ryabunav because of his thunder and because of his rain, Tulanav. As Ptiggo he causes the sun to rise and while Ohheph watches its setting, and between he is Xwud the judge. Heed the preventer of rout Quordn and Bhaeg the router! He gives to the faithful and takes from the unfaithful, and in either case he calculates perfectly, for he is Ithrew."
The people of the city listened and said this. "Who has more names than one?"
"An exile does."
"A criminal certainly. A heinous one who has been driven out from every other city."
"Think you rather that he is an indecisive god and childish? My son one day thinks he is a bull and the next a hound."
"Whoever he is, he will forgive me for refusing him my prayers, for I have not the time for them that are as lengthy as that."
The prophet withdrew among jeers such as those.
The following day, a prophet to the city came and spoke in this wise. "Heed the word of the mightiest god!" Then he shrugged. "But why should I speak of it? Likely you have never heard of him and are ignorant in all matters. Which road takes me to the next city?"
The people of the city, without exception, soon worshipped that god.
Finis

More Monster Problems

The issue with using rocs is that people will think you spelled rock wrong, and half the time they'll be right. Spellcheck exceptions are a dangerous thing.

Addendum

Centaur doesn't refer to King Cen, but maybe it should

Minotaur Musings

The only problem with minotaurs is that their name refers to King Minos, and not a single person cares.

Monster Musings

Would giants be more popular if giant weren't a general adjective? Think about it. Suppose you start your story in this wise: "Thraddeus had a giant sword and a bigger attitude." Whoa, settle down, Thraddeus! Anyway, the reader concludes he has a big sword. But what if the story has giants in it? Now there's ambiguity. Did he steal the sword from a giant? Did a giant give it to him as a sign of friendship and receive a bracelet he wears as a ring? Minotaurs don't have this problem.

Special Word

If you want the cool people to know you, too, are cool, make sure to include "hortatory" in your story. Just kidding. There's nothing cool about "hortatory." The real one is "contumacious."




Actually it's "disperse."

Joke Corner

Q. Why aren't there more horror science fiction stories?
A. Because they're post-scarity!
Q. There are quite a few horror science fiction stories.
A. Shut up.

Straight to the Top

"You have heard of the elevator. You have seen the space elevator. Now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the spacetime elevator." The inventor waved for the curtains to be pulled away from the model. That was the apex of his showmanship, but he was only an inventor, after all.
"The name is indicative, but what precisely does it do?" a judge asked.
"Very simple. Look. The passengers enter a car at the bottom. They ride up." During his narration, the model demonstrated the procedure. "They reach the top, but all the time they've been going up, they've been going back in time as well. That means that when they get there, the spacetime elevator hasn't been built yet, and the car goes . . ." The little model car plunged into the miniature ocean below and sank.
"Amazing! First prize!" The World Execution Expo judges admired the invention greatly, as did the wider community once word of it spread.
Finis

The Freshest Prefix

Adding magna- to everything is pretty tight, but don't forget about exo-.

How Rifts Can Succeed as a Movie Franchise

I'm surprised it isn't already. Somebody call a rich guy and make it happen.

Deep Thoughts on Videogames

"The greatness of a console generation may be determined from the variety of its motion control offerings." - Oliver Wiindell Holmes

How Dungeons & Dragons Can Succeed as a Move Franchise

I don't think anybody makes Move games anymore, so the field is open. That's how business works.

How Dungeons & Dragons Can Succeed as a Movie Franchise

Release separate Dungeons movies and Dragons movies. Everyone will see the dragon one and then rent the dungeon one to get the whole story.

Rearrangement

Normally you have the big atmospheric entry scene at the end of the first third or at the very end. Why not start with it? What a hook!

A Legacy of Intimidation

"Don't stay up too late, Papa!"
"I will stay up exactly long enough!" The man chuckled as he turned away from the door to return to his workbench. Behind his teasing lay the certainty that he would not stay up late, because at last his work neared its completion.
No more than an hour later, he stood and yawned. Everything was ready for the big demonstration later in the week. Just then, he heard a noise. Intending to lecture his daughter or a pet for unwarranted nocturnal activity, he walked through the house looking for the source only to find his door torn from its hinges and on the ground next to it, a paper wrapped around a key.
"Give up your foolish scheme! You're hurting us all! Including yourself!" He read that and crumpled the message in his angry fist. Determined, he placed the key on his workbench next to his project.
"You fiends," he said, unable to keep his indignant thoughts silent. "Threatening me because of how my invention terrifies you." He compared the two, nodded, and picked up his model. "This key which doesn't disappear when it's used will ruin your Keymakers' Guild!"
Finis

The Proper Audience

How about spelling "castle" as "cassel?" Nobody will know what you're talking about, but the audiobook narrator will appreciate it.

Word Corner

There aren't nearly enough synonyms for hair. It's time to ransack some other languages, fellas!

A Brutal Takedown of Monarchy

Why is it monarchy and not monocracy? Or, alternatively, why not demosarchy? Or, failing that, why not onerule and peoplerule? Why are we bothering with this Greek nonsense in the first place? An inferiority complex?

Addender

The term "totality matrix," however, is still available so far as I'm aware.

Addendum

I need a new religion because I've been thrown into despair at not getting to use the phrase "path of totality" for something much cooler.

Solar Eclipse

We're all supposed to believe in a new religion now, right? Nobody's told me which one yet. Surely some prophet somewhere called that the day would be a tiny bit darker for a little while.

A Question of Succession

The king summoned his three sons to determine who was best suited to have the kingdom pass into his hands. First he asked the eldest, "What are the duties of a king?"
"Googagoo."
Second he asked the middle son, "What is the meaning of justice?"
"Ugaa!"
Third he asked the youngest, "How is peace best maintained?"
"Gagooga?"
Perceiving that none of his sons were worthy on account of being babies, he designated as his heir the man he thought most capable of ruling after him. His subjects rejoiced at his wisdom and the secure future they saw.
Moral: Hereditary rule is a terrible practice.
The heir increased his support with the people and within the palace until he felt secure in his influence. Then he murdered the king and took the throne. However, he misjudged, and the kingdom fell into years of ruinous strife.
Moral: Hereditary rule may have been dismissed too quickly back there.
At last a great man rose above the chaos and settled the land, afterwards ascending to the kingship. He ruled excellently, his son ably, and his grandson squandered the treasury and turned everyone against him.
Moral: No idea.
Finis

Thoughts on Millennia

I mean the hot new strategy game, which you might not know, because it's called Millennia. In the modern era, don't you have departments to make sure your game's title is reasonably searchable? I haven't played it, so that's my only thought.

Science Corner

Q. How does a warrior handle atmospheric reentry?
A. By surfing down on his shield.
Q. He doesn't have a shield.
A. By surfing down on his two-handed sword.
Q. He has two swords.
A. Skiing.

Addender

What year sounds really old? 1969.

Addendum

Maybe the new Dune movie has been out for some time now, but I wanted to talk about the future. What year sounds futuristic? I'm not sure I can accept anything before 3000. Maybe 2800 would do it, though that has an Atari kind of ring that diminishes it. 2940 might be the earliest future year.

Dune: Double Indemnity Is Out

So when do we reboot Dune with a bold new vision? 2031? Man, that still reads like a future year. I blame Phantom 2040.

Asymmetrical Literature

It's the latest fad! Books for two readers. One reads the dialogue and the other reads everything else. That way a pair of people create a new story experience through their decisions. Do they read it out loud? Does one of them hide information? Transformational. The technical hurdles are easy. You just make the ebook two files, one for player one and the other for the lesser partner.