Monday, May 30, 2022

Megacorporations Are Much Dumber Than Regular Corporations

"You don't mean . . ."
"That's right, Mr. Klarwood. You, too, are a fauxloid."
"That can't be true!" Klarwood shook his head in disbelief. "No, really. That doesn't make any sense. What's the point of making a custom fauxloid, which I have to think is pretty expensive . . ." The man nodded. "An expensive fauxloid and programming it to hunt other fauxloids, but also programming it to think it's a human so it won't even know to use its superior physical fauxloid capabilities? I had to take five days off last month because I had the flu. You implanted false memories of getting sick once in a state-of-the-art fauxloid? Why? To be a twist?"
"To be a twist, Mr. Klarwood."
"I hope your shareholders have the same love of the dramatic as you. You've got a fiduciary responsibility, right? Speaking of finance and production, last I heard, fauxloaids were back-ordered for seven months. Who bought me, anyway? Did he pay extra? Jump the queue? By the way, it's illegal to let fauxloids set foot on Earth. I don't remember seeing anything in the law code about 'unless it spurs people to make video essays about who is and isn't a fauxloid,' but I admit my memory isn't that great. Fauxloids have photographic memories, of course."
"Of course. Or rather, they think they do."
"Right, right, they were given false memories of having good memories. For some reason. You wouldn't want them to think they're inferior to humans in any way. They might give up on their nonstop rebellions. What good are fauxloids? I've never rebelled, by the way. They cost more than my salary, they shut down just as they start getting good at their jobs, they're mad all the time . . . Pretty useless, really."
"Thoroughly useless, Mr. Klarwood. It is unfortunate that you discovered it."
"Well, it is my job to discover things. And I'm good at it too, unlike fauxloids, even though I am one, which you still haven't explained."
"I never will, Mr. Klarwood. Or rather, I cannot."
Finis

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