On the Origin of Magical Species

Once upon a time, an ant lived in the fields, and so did a grasshopper. They were bugs and did nothing of moral significance.
"Is the real world nothing but disappointments?" asked the wizard Stfenlorvcwizus, who included wizards in the real world no matter what you think about it. "Is there nothing edifying in nature? I believed every grain of sand on the beach held a lesson to learn. Was I wrong? No, rather nature is wrong and in need of correction."
The wizard Stfenlorvcwizus withdrew to his workshop and prepared his enchantments. He studied in the morning, measured in the afternoon, and chanted all evening through the night. At last he achieved his desire. And that is why we have all these enchanted animals and trees that never shut up when you try to get anything done outdoors.
Finis