The Qualifications of Monarchy

"Once, the country suffered defeat in the north, in the south, the west, and on the sea. The people wondered, what was the reason for their ceaseless defeats? Was it their courage that was lacking? The quality of their arms? The favor of the gods?
"'The difference is this,' one of the captains of the people told them. 'Our neighbors select a single head for their body, a man surpassing the rest in excellence who prepares them in peace and manages them in war. They call these men kings. We can never overcome them as long as our captains dispute with one another and follow various counsels.'
"The people went to the richest man among them, and therefore the wisest, and asked for his help. 'Choose for us a man to prepare us in peace and manage us in war. Raise up a king, so we will lose no more. You would be our choice were you not so old, but point out who is second-best.' The rich man thought and pondered and considered, and at last he chose a man.
"The people were puzzled when he told them his choice. 'That man cannot be said to surpass the rest in excellence. He cannot be called second-best. Why have you chosen for us this man who is not tall, not rich, not handsome, not witty, not brave, and not charming? What makes this man a king?'
"The rich man told them, 'Your king will hold all power in his hands. He will collect revenues such as no one of you could earn. His relatives will rise to high positions, however little they deserve it. You will bow to him and flatter him and follow his commands. And you say he should be better than you as well? Nonsense! Envy would destroy you as surely as our enemies. I give you this man that you might look down on him whom you raise up. In no other way will you be able to bear his rule.'
"The people did as he said and reversed their fortunes. They defeated all their neighbors and extracted tribute from them. All their affairs prospered. From that time we learned always to revere the authority of the king if not his person and never, ever think of rebelling no matter how weak or incompetent he appears. Then least of all."
"Wow, thanks for the story, Mr. Royal Archivist! And thanks to the king for being the king even though he's terrible at it! Long live the king!"
"It was my pleasure, kids. I'll pass your kind wishes on to my uncle the next time I see him."
Finis