Rarely is a philosopher's confidence in his own doctrine so genuine and deep as to allow him to proclaim to a tyrant what he thinks of him in his very presence, whatever he may say about the immortality of the soul or otherwise. That sincere feeling illuminated the palace of the tyrant Kratymachos as much as the sun itself ever did when the traveling philosopher Sophagoras accepted his invitation and made a speech.
"You have enriched yourself at the expense of your people's property, their lives, and what is more their very happiness, which would have done you more good than a five-hundredth talent of silver which will buy you nothing that the four-hundred-ninety-ninth would not while costing more, for the last coin a man has is worth more than the first in every case. The reason is that the last coin may buy bread as easily as the first, but after the first there is the second while after the last there is hunger and death.
"But what should be of more value than even the last coin is the ruler, who ought to be a guardian of the last coin and of the bread it can buy, and of life and of happiness and of piety. What is most repulsive in the tyrant is this, that the very qualities needed to be a guardian are the ones he needs to be an effective despoiler, so that the worse the tyrant, the greater the guardian we can see in him, just as the most dangerous poisons are acclaimed by doctors for their ameliorative capabilities.
"It would be better for you to rule better, for as much as the people suffer under you, far more than that will you suffer in the torments of the afterlife, if I do not go wrong in mentioning them to a man who may believe in nothing more than his own power, far more will your name be dirtied by the true report of the crimes you have committed, and far more will your children suffer when they are left nothing by their father but resentment and ill repute after the people take back from your corpse and treasury what you robbed while you were capable."
Rarely is a tyrant's confidence in his own position so firm as to provide him relief from the fiercest invective of renowned philosophers and allow him to respond with serene and measured words, but so it was that the tyrant Kratymachos informed his guest he would have a response that might cause him to reconsider his ideas the next day, while in the meantime he should enjoy himself as seemed best to him.
The next day the philosopher was shown into a room where the tyrant awaited him. There was a table in the middle that supported dozens of figurines, each one a unique carving of a person. Kratymachos pointed to the table. "For today, this is your kingdom. These figurines are your people. Rule them for their own good and show me better methods."
"Very well. How ought I to begin?"
"However you think best. You are the ruler."
"In that case, what is it they want done?"
"Is that an order, great ruler?"
"Yes. Ask them what their needs are that I may decide the best course."
Kratymachos leaned over a figure and stood back up. "He says it should be lighter."
"Oh? Ah, I see." Sophagoras walked over to a window and moved aside the curtains.
"Ruler." Kratymachos was leaning over another figure. "I have been told it should be darker."
"That is easily done." The philosopher drew the curtains closer.
"This one says it is too dark. Also, everyone should have more space."
"I begin to comprehend. The hatted ones want it darker, while the bare heads want it brighter."
"And so?"
"And so I will calculate." Sophagoras counted more with hats than without and set the room to be slightly dim. "Now what is this about space?" Kratymachos pointed to a figurine. "I can fix that easily enough." The philosopher reached over the table.
"Putting hands on your own people? Outrageous," the tyrant remarked.
"You are correct. I will use reason with them at an appropriate time."
"Very good. Also, this one says the people are too spread out so that he cannot pasture his flocks." Kratymachos knocked a figurine to the floor as he was speaking.
"I see how it is with the space. Those with one hand up want room and the ones with both down want more density. If I go against them in this, I may please them by the light. No matter what, I cannot please everyone. I understand the meaning you intend by this jest, but what is the meaning of the figurine falling to the floor?"
"Oh, that happens sometimes. Do not concern yourself with it. I doubt he is plotting against you in secret where you cannot see."
"So do I, but I should like to speak with him. Retrieve him for me."
"Why?"
"As I said, I wish to converse with him, learning perhaps as much as I could teach."
"Why should I retrieve him, though? He paid me not to. I see no reason not to take his money and yours alike. I have been in the plotter's employ this whole time."
The philosopher shook his head. "The lesson you wish to teach is not so obscure that I cannot see it myself. It is not so easy to rule, is it, when every person below you has his own interest and means?"
"That is what I have found."
"Since I am your guest, I will solve this problem for you," the philosopher said and stabbed the clever tyrant there in that room where just the two of them were. "Pardon my rudeness to such a courteous and patient host, but the truth is that I, too, have been in a plotter's employ this whole time." Sophagoras walked out and had left the island before anyone found the corpse of Kratymachos.
Finis
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