A Christmas Saga

A young man shuffled along beneath disorderly seasonal lights which lent character to flat streets and sidewalks distinguished for most of the year by imperfect conditions alone, cracks and weeds and a chip broken off. One might imagine them to have pools and depressions.
"With all the classics and specials, you'd think I'd have some idea what the true meaning of Christmas is." His thoughts were something like that, though not so organized; in that at least his state comported with the environment.
Just then, he vanished and appeared before a council of mystical adepts who said, "Aid us! Free us from the Three Christmas Terrors. Only someone from another world where the season is as it should be can do it. The first is a rider of a sleigh swifter than slander who corrects the count of every chimney that the taxes might be made more oppressive. The second is the chorus whose carols cause madness, nor is their thirst appeased till the house has nothing left for those who live there. The third is the tribe of butchers whose duty is to hang heads from every tree in Browngird Forest."
The young man did exactly that, and in so doing he discovered the truth of Christmas in search and struggle. Never again, when he was returned to his world, did he neglect a quest for the perfect present or quail when invited to watch a seasonal movie for the fifth time that year.
Finis

Addendum

I know it's hard, but please resist splitting into factions over whether that's the only one who speaks Egyptian or if the others all do so perfectly. The world has seen enough strife.

Big News

Did you know that one of the great spirits in the Lesser Key of Solomon speaks Egyptian, but not well? Be sure to include that detail in all your modern day occult fiction, urban or otherwise. It's our shared cultural heritage and everyone needs to know.

The Future of War

Nobody will be able to go to war because all the equipment will be downloading updates, forever.

Magical Constants

If gemstones don't have magical properties in your setting, many people will still think they do. Just look at them. They must be possessed of wondrous properties.

Addendum

On another note, how many Christmas spaceships have you seen? Looks like fantasy wins again, losers!

Christmas Dragons

Anybody else seeing more Christmas dragon decorations? I don't object, but neither do I understand. I suppose the typical dragon wants to receive presents, but so does everybody else. Especially characters from Bluey, apparently.

Accommodation With the Night

The last gleam in the sky fled, abandoning the town in its cowardice. Any doors still open shut and every empty bed was filled. Except for one. Somewhere inside a stately mansion, fiendish eyes opened; their owner stood.
The ruler of the night wandered the streets, as capricious as death and as quiet as despair. Throughout the nocturnal hours, no disturbance dared break out for fear of him. It had been so for months. He retired only when herald rays cried that the sun would soon take up again its inescapable watch over the world.
"Anything happen last night?"
"'Course not, not ever since we elected a vampire mayor."
"Only clever thing we ever did in this town. Used to be three robberies a day. My thanks to His Honor again." With that last, he doffed his cap and bowed toward the mayoral mansion, and several joined him in that.
Finis

How to Increase Leisure Reading

Pizza parties!

On the Reveal of Total War: Warhammer 40k

"In the grim dark future, there is total war." Fellas, it was right there and you didn't say it. You just left it on the ground like a dropped paintbrush.

Makeshift Armorization

One advantage of enchanted greaves is that they can be taken from unusual sources, such as a giant's shinbone or a chunk of the palace of death. Turning a meteorite into a magic sword is one thing, but a bell which is the last remnant of a ruined kingdom? Possible, but take the easy route and get some greaves out of it.

Possible Responses to Overly Optimistic Science Fiction Predictions

1. "Those silly authors, thinking we'd colonize the moon by 1996!"
2. "What has gone wrong, that we have not fulfilled these expectations?"

Addendum

The real taste of today is legs. Enchanted greaves are simply one manifestation of that. Remember that asymmetricality is not only permitted but encouraged these days.

Trends Cross Over Years

Pawned: Power ribbons.
Donned: Enchanted greaves.

The Zoo of Mankind's Yearning

We limped away from the encounter fortunate only by comparison.. The Yuengians, who style themselves independently minded but are in fact pirates, suffered what they intended for us and what still might transpire, unable to resume our course as we were.
Our researches yielded a planet nearby which was registered as habitable. We could do no better. The prospect improved upon approach when we detected signs of not just potential but the thing itself: A vast compound existed near an artifically regular lake easily capable of accommodating our entire convoy.
The job of trying to raise the inhabitants devolved to me based on the reasoning that many who closed their doors to regular strangers opened them for correspondents, particularly ones as famous as the captains pretended me to be. My rejoinder that the opposite often pertained did not win me free from the responsibility. I proved, not the respect accorded my profession, but to have some small knowledge of interstellar celebrity when I recognized Herzerd Klobsarn, the genuinely famous gene theorist. Nor was he displeased at the recognition; in that at least I may have aided my fellow survivors a little.
Klobsarn provided hospitality far beyond the most optimistic projection. The many empty furnished rooms, he said, had been used by laborers who had long since departed. He had seen no reason to bother with tearing down the surplus quarters, negligence which seemed to us a miracle. He maintained stores such as sufficed to feed us and effect repairs out of what he described as two excesses, one of caution and the other of curiosity, for his projects demanded resources.
He was happy to show us one. The complex housed an unthinkable menagerie of creatures created by mingled design and serendipity. If I tell you to imagine horns that are not horns and wings that operate according to unconventional mechanisms, you will not understand me, and in that I have succeeded. For I did not understand what I saw there.
"But why?" I asked. More detail seemed a superfluity.
"Across greater humanity, some seventy-six million sports teams are called the Wildcats. Another twelve million are Bears or Bruins, and barely fewer are the Cardinals. Each planet, each continent, each region must have its own species. I leave it to the denizens to name them, but I take it upon myself to make them."
I was impressed more than ever by the benevolent character of Herzerd Klobsarn.
Finis

More Ideas for Alt History Divergence Points

Justinian is discovered to be a demon who came to depopulate the Earth and defeated.
The French offer the Normans land on the Mediterranean instead of Normandy to separate them from reinforcements.
Hawaii? Sinks.
Scotland's dumb colony flourishes, allowing Scotland to purchase England.
Tron is released; is a good movie.
Japan? Sinks.
Moon landing is never attempted; U.S. uses that money to purchase England.
Aquitaine conquers Italy.
Korea is unified when its three major kingdoms agree to elevate one above the others based on whose prayers are answered first.
Australia? Sinks.
Mansa Musa travels northwest and purchases England.
Rome? Sinks. The Alba Longa empire is remembered to this day.

Addendum

"But will the streets be wide enough for tanks, given that they'll be designed for either foot traffic or efficient self-driving routes?"
I hadn't thought about it. I suppose it depends on whether the mastermind with the one tank landed the contract for road-building beforehand.

Military Self-Sufficiency

I just realized that future space colonies probably won't have tank factories and, therefore, no tanks. The crime gang or evil business that manages to put one together will rule the streets.

Addendum

Now 720°, that was a game full of delusional bravery. Think about this, too: Aim for 8 and you'll hit 6, aim for 720 and you might hit 7.

Review Roundup

Will scores for Metroid Prime 4 Beyond really be beyond four as the title promises? Almost certainly. Nintendo set a cowardly target, but that's normal. Some sports franchises dared to dream in the 90s, but nobody today has courage.

The First Thing to Do When Creating Your Fantasy Setting

Determine how many workers at the gold and the trees are optimal. Your readers will notice deviations from the meta in the starting minutes, which can contribute to characterization.