The Catalogue of Beasts

The hunter, great in prowess and local fame, repaired to a shrine to give thanks. There he heard this.
"Go and slay one of every kind of creature!"
He departed without complaint or question. For years he wandered, bringing down ferocious beasts to acclaim and trapping pests to ridicule. He learned the name of every animal and spared none of them, excepting not even man, though as it was a cheater at dice whose life he took, he doubted whether he counted as such.
When at last he was able to discover no prey not yet felled, he returned to the shrine, hoping for guidance. There he heard this. "You ran off before I announced the reward for the deed."
"There was to be a reward?" the hunter asked, amazed.
"Good health, everlasting fame, and a few score new kinds of beasts are even now coming into being should you wish to continue your hunt."
Regarding the first two, the hunter had little interest, but hearing the third he wept and praised the god.
Finis

The Best Foundation for Science Fiction

Just take fantasy and put it all in space. Games Workshop did it. Why hasn't everybody tried that? The worst that can happen is a failure on the level of any other.

The True Difference Between Fantasy and Science Fiction

People suffer from a curse in the former, while in the latter, populations exhibit a syndrome. Am I saying it's just the number of syllables? Yes I am.

Addendum

You will of course be watching somebody else play Super Robot Wars. That's how things are done these days.

Ideas for a Super Robot Wars Launch Party

1. Play Super Robot Wars
2. Run a fun Super Robot Wars quiz show
3. Balloons
4. Serve treats based on Super Robot Wars items such as the ones you get each battle from ace bonuses
5. Come across an experimental mech and save the world (don't worry if it blows up a couple times; that's normal)
6. Watch party!

To Celebrate the Imminent Release of Super Robot Wars Y

Should we change the term "flash fiction" to "alert fiction?" That's a little SRW humor for you. I'm waiting for DLC and sales, but that's no reason not to participate in the launch-window goodwill.

Genuine Contributions of Ancient Astronauts

Everybody's always going on about pyramids and such, but what are the chances those helpful old aliens imported chickens, horses, wheat, and good stuff of that sort? And durian as a prank. I think parsley is probably native though. It's nice to have, but who would think to move it around?

The Giants' Fingers

What caused the trembling? Two giants disputed and rocked the earth with their wrestling. They carried on for some time.
"Brother, enough of this."
"I know it. How is this? I see a man there, five miles away. He has a clever face."
The giants Aiks and Eiks gave the man their problem. "We must know who is mightier between us. You know that for giants there is no question of older or younger; we cannot learn from that. We thought to wrestle, but if we use all our strength, there will be no mountains in this country a day longer, a shame!"
"It is lucky you asked me, for I am a blacksmith. Now give me one finger, each of you."
Aiks and Eiks did so. The smith wrought two swords, Aiksfinger and Eiksfinger. He told them to lower their heads, which they did, and hewed them off, each with the sword of the other. Aiksfinger cut through the neck of Eiks in two blows. Aiks lost his head to Eiksfinger in three. The giants set their heads back on their necks and thanked the smith for his help.
The story has wide fame. The man who gains Aiksfinger rejoices greatly. He who has Eiksfinger is cheered little less, for it is keen and good.
Finis

Addendum

And Artifact, but you know. We all know.

The Fundamental Dishonesty of Crossovers

If Spider-Man played any card game, it would be Duel Masters. Whom are these jokers trying to fool?

Addendum

In general, nautical terms suffer from the fact that sailors customarily refuse to line up spelling and pronunciation. "Gunwale" should mean one thing, "gunnel" another, and both should be cool. Well, cool-adjacent; "gunnel" sounds like a low-ranking criminal thug.

Words That Mean Something Less Cool Than They Should Corner

Gunwale.

How to Shake Things Up

Try out these powerful words and phrases you've never seen before:
Willforce
Power of will

Apology for the Maligned

Everybody's always treating arrogant young masters like real foul dudes, but I just want to say if they're both young and masters, maybe they aren't actually arrogant.

Secrets of the Star Master

Rarely was a cargo transfer performed with such jollity. Even considering the extensive use of robotic assistance, the habit of the laborer is complaint. The special consideration which delighted those workers who were facilitating a transfer from the great drone freighter, half a mile long, to their own fleet was that none of those goods belonged to them according to any laws contemplated by an orderly government.
Greater than their good humor at the prospect of the customary piratical division of plunder was their dismay and confusion when their flagship abruptly disengaged, sending many tumbling through space, though not to an irretrievable distance. The consternation extended to the ship's bridge where entrepreneurs unaccustomed to deference demanded an explanation for the captain's intemperate behavior.
His explanation satisfied. "Our guys came through with a warning. The Star Master is already past the outer peepers."
The only objection to that dealt with referring to a person as "the" anything, and that was muttered so as to be heard by nobody but an adjacent officer who replied he had always believed the Star Master to be the ship, not the captain. Soon even the quietest speech died that was not relevant to ship operations.
After the missile exchanges, the electronic rakings and counter-sweeps, and the insulting impacts of DeMarten pellets which did more in alerting the recipients about the failures of their defenses than in damage, the pirates yielded to the notorious pirate hunter. Reduced to suffering from gratitude to their attacker for allowing them to live, the conquered struggled to preserve a pellet of pride by gaining information, trivial as it was.
"So which is Star Master? The ship or the man?"
The grand figure beyond the screen did not hesitate to answer. "It's no wonder you lost, if you think a distinction exists!"
Finis

Compelling Fantasy Mythology

The main problem with crafting detailed mythologies for your setting is that you could have just set the story in those instead. That's why you should include a brief conversation along the following lines:

"'This reminds me of that possibly legendary story.'
'I know just the one you mean, and of course there is no need to elaborate.' He looked at the camera and winked."

Draconic Lifecycle

I know we've all considered the possibility that planets are dragon eggs waiting to hatch and wondered what will happen to us when the time comes, but have you considered that these eggs might not have been fertilized yet? What's that going to be like? That's why I support migration beyond the planet as soon as it can be effected.

Addendest

All this time, have angry ghosts been mad about inflation? Almost certainly.

Addender

Even worse, to ghosts, because they will have died long ago, $43,500 will be a lot of money, whereas that will be affordable if a significan expense for the contemporary traveler.

Addendum

Unfortunately for them, by then we'll have the technology to detect ghosts and subsequently demand fares.

Futurestition

When we go to space, will we have to wait for new ghosts to populate the haunted places, or will some grab rides alongside the living passengers? That's aside from the ghosts of long-dead species, whose menaces we will be incapable of comprehending or even noticing.

Visions of Future Anarchy

The first cruel robber asked travelers for the time. When they looked at their watches, he grabbed their feet and swung them against a tree. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?"
"No, but you can look at my watch. I wear it around my ankle."
"Eh?"
Pow! The hero kicked the bandit against the tree and killed him.
The second cruel robber invited travelers to rest in a cottage. When polite visitors removed their shoes and stepped inside, the treacherous floor dropped them into a boiling cauldron. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. You look like someone who needs a break."
"Thank you. I'll just take off my boots."
"Eh?"
Entranced by the valuable watch, studded with gems but nevertheless tasteful, the robber failed to resist in time and was thrown into his own trap. Splash!
The third cruel robber gave travelers a remote control and suggested they watch their favorite program on his gigantic television set. Too bad for them, the remote was a bomb. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. Why not sit down on this couch and watch your favorite program?"
"It isn't on yet. Here, check this watch."
"And a fine watch that is. I bet it could bring . . . eh?"
Smash! The hero brought the TV down on the robber's head. With that, the road was safe at last.
Finis

Dragon Fashion

More dragons should dress up all fancy. I'm sure some do, in some books, but it should be widespread. Entire countries should be compelled to knit nice dragon hats.

Addendum

We won't be able to ask them to rate poets, though. Any intelligent species capable of navigating the well-starred plain will have long since ditched poetry.

Reasons to Strive for Peaceful Relations With Aliens

1. Lack of annihilation
2. Technology exchange
3. Alliance against meaner aliens
4. Asking them which decade has the best music
5. Trade
6. Collaborative planetary development

Appropriate Cast Size for a Novel

It was 108 centuries ago, and that was just the heroes.* Aren't you ashamed if you have fewer than 1,080 today?



*Or "heroes," if you prefer.

Addendum

And if they have a thousand distinct terms like terrestrial conveyances do, all the better. Quick, which one's a brougham? That's an easier one, as you can tell because I remembered the name.

Fantasy Spaceships

Often they're based on sailing ships, but likening space to the oceans is a more recent thing. Fantasy spaceships should be reminiscent of chariots, wagons, and carriages.

Neglected Repairs

It was a five-camera job: Two for dynamic footage of the howling protesters kept outside by barriers and bored security personnel, two on the site (ground-level and aerial), and the last for the interview itself.
"Surely we aren't to believe there isn't something disgraceful about having this place reduced to a single purchase?"
"I can't say what you are or aren't, but I think it's amazing that we've reached the point in human prosperity where someone like me can buy all of Great Britain. With all the space stations and the extraterrestrial colonies and the virtual realms, I don't think of this island as reduced at all. We've all gotten big because of technological progress, we're more prosperous than ever, and I'm going to fix this place up the way bureaucrats never got around to doing. Starting right here."
As he gestured, the segment producer switched to one of the site drones in case anyone missed the connection. Perhaps someone who started watching late.
"Yes, about that. What do you have to say to the people who insist, with tradition behind them I might add, to say nothing of sensibility and delicacy, that this place does not in fact need to be 'fixed?' That it is in further fact an outrage, what you're proposing to do here today?"
"I'm not proposing, I'm doing. That's number one. Number two is, look at it, of course it's broke. Ready over there? All right, start."
At the owner of Great Britain's command, great machines began to lay precision-cut stones so as to perfect the composition of Stonehenge, heedless of the protesters who managed against expected human capacity to shout even louder. When they finished, less than an hour later, thunder boomed on that cloudless day, and in the center of the great menhirs, a fog arose from the ground that reached to the sky. From it a man emerged, clad in robes and wisdom, who strode forward to deliver this address.
"Because of your actions flow again the powers of magic, charms, and sorcery long denied to man but never forgotten. Well done. Of my disciples in this generation, you shall be the first and greatest."
"Well I'm glad to hear it," Great Britain's owner said.
Finis

The Backwards Literary industry

Not before publishers get with it and add chapters for a book's tenth anniversary will the written word be able to compete with other media.

Addendum

And the upper crust will live outside the main superstructure too so it's harder to visit them, they get better views, and their debauchery is harder to interrupt? Unbelievable. The future really is something.

Ship Trip

In the future, when people are living on huge spaceships making circuits among all the galaxy's best places, do you think they'll hold the races inside or on the outside? What's that you say? On a track away from the hull but still attached to it so it's easier to see by the picnickers sitting on the hull? You're no ordinary speculator.