Negative Howling, for Example

Many think that just because their characters are fighting with tanks or spaceships that they can't have named special attacks. They couldn't be more wrong.

The Sun Is Obsolete

Remember to have your fantasy world orbit the beating heart of a god, the final resting place of heroes, the mixing bowl where monsters are made, or something fun like that instead of dumb atom nonsense.

Addendum

"It was man's sins that choked off the cornucopia, so dirty they are and so many, and only by his blood may those sins be dissolved!" - A prophet or something.

Thanksgiving Fantasy

I don't have a single idea. Riding turkeys? Is that doing anything for anybody? The cornucopia has promise.

Horror Has Been Missing This Simple Trick!

Flowerew. Think about it.

I just thought about it and realized this would only work if a bunch of murders were happening in a hippie commune and it turned out one of them was a werewolf, so I think we might have missed the boat on this one.

The Next Wave

All these years of making cookbooks based on novels have brought us at last to the point of making novels based on cookbooks. Think of the worldbuilding.

Talons of Braves

Near any crossroads must be an establishment to serve travelers, and in any such establishment, should the bold arrive in numbers, boasts will be heard. One day, brave men going in every direction happened to be in one place, so of course one stood and proclaimed the virtues of his arms.
"This sword you see, and this shorter sword, and this shield as well, are in truth a claw's three talons of the formerly fearsome dragon Grand Madness, and this helmet is of his hide. It was the smith Iriklio who made them."
That was a boast impossible to ignore, for five other braves stood and proclaimed their story the same. Moreover, they compared their arms and saw them identical.
"Six sets! How many claws has a dragon, my friends? I think me what is right for us to do is to chastise that Iriklio who mocks his customers!"
That proposal proud on the outside and filled inside with wrath all six accepted. But then, what was that? A clamor outside of yells and screams! They departed and saw this.
A dragon stood, fierce, his wings spread, and named himself. "I am Edge of Terror, vassals, and who bears the dragon's arms, the talons of Grand Madness, today he dies! For I am his son." And he stood on six feet and six claws.
The braves therefore prepared for the fight.
Finis

Ranking of Weapons Appropriate for Your Science Fiction Main Character

1. Mech
2. Spaceship
3. Spaceship (fighter)
4. Psionic powers

That is all.

Ranking of Weapons Appropriate for Your Fantasy Main Character

1. Sword
2. Bow
3. Comically Large Hammer
4. Dagger
5. Polearm
6. Ax
7. Razor-Sharp Hoop
8. Normally Sized Hammer
9. Whip
10. Spear

Secret twist ending: Now roll for which one your character gets.

Making Your Science Fiction Less Sterile

Replace the hivemind with a jivemind. Now that your science fiction seems twee instead, it's ready for Tiktok.

The Most Important Criterion for Ranking Fantasy Races

How cool does the phrase "The [RACE] kings of old" sound?

1. The dwarven kings of old
2. The dragon kings of old
3. The centaur kings of old
4. The elven kings of old
5. The griffin kings of old
6. The lizard kings of old
7. The kobold kings of old
8. The brownie kings of old

The Latest Book Technology

Already sensors are being implanted which measure how long the reader looks at certain sentences and dynamically writes new pages based on that information to create infinite stories.

The Most Startling New Fantasy Monster

Half-centaur.

Inexhaustible Virtue and Its Rewards

Once, a man bent over with age dragged himself by his stick from house to house, begging for shelter for the night. Everyone rejected his plea. "We don't have room for you," they said, or, "You smell weird," or, "What are you talking about? You're that wizard who lives in the tower out that way." No matter how many times he told them he wasn't, they still turned him away.
In the end he came to the house of a humble sign painter who gave him a space on the floor and half his supper, which was "too much for me anyway." The next day, when the old man made to leave, he straightened and summoned his customary attire emblazoned with arcane symbols.
"Humble sign painter! I am in fact the wizard who lives in that tower over there! Because you are the only hospitable man in this town, I leave you this gift. It is a bow with the wondrous quality that it supplies its own arrows. Behold."
The sign painter watched the wizard stretch the string whereupon an arrow appeared, already nocked. "Amazing! But I only have one arm. I cannot draw it."
"So what? It's not as if you would have gotten any use out of it anyway. What did you think I wanted you to do, shoot paint arrows? Sell this as a novelty to a rich collector of curiosities, you dunderhead. 'I cannot draw it.' Come on."
And the sign painter did just that. The money enabled him to retire, though he did not. He liked the work.
Finis

Truly Avant-Garde Fantasy

The book contains a map, but not of where the story takes place. Daring! Cheeky, even!

A New Shapeshifting Paradigm

You've heard of losing your clothes. You've heard of keeping your clothes, magically and conveniently. But how about every time you shapeshift, you end up in new clothes, completely out of your control? People like roguelikes and roguelites these days, after all.

Modernizing Fantasy

Instead of a cursed sword, why not a long explanation about fracking? That's what interests people today.

The Dominance of Fantasy

Over the years, fantasy has overtaken science fiction in the speculative fiction field as far as popularity acclaim. The reason for this is simple: We're closer to the future. There isn't as much future fiction left. We're going to run out approximately 2082 at this rate, so find a real job, science fiction idiots.

Addendum

Radscorpion, however, is a less rad name than scorpion by itself.

About Scorpions

Would scorpions be as popular if their name weren't as cool? No. They would not. Scorpion is a rad word for a mediocre animal.

Alien Motivations

"We've finally caught you, space alien! Those decades of coverups were worth it."
The FBI agents sneered at the small gray humanoid tied to the chair.
"How about it, space alien? What do you want? Why were you skulking around the launch site?"
The alien spoke. "We want to find out how you got to your moon. It's so cool. We just bounce around planets. And what's with that internet? How do you guys come up with this stuff? Maybe you have to have cats. We don't have those. Can I have a cat?"
The agents stared at one another.
Finis

The Biggest Obstacles to Space Colonies

The people who live there have to not care about the freshest internet memes, but everybody with the skills to make it work cares deeply.

How to Integrate Mechs Into Your Setting

Do it on page one.

Writing a Proper Epilogue

Be sure to include the fact that every character dies within twenty years, ideally ten. Readers love that.

On Plot Armor

You'd think nobody ever lived through a single day the way people talk about plot armor sometimes, Sheesh. Check fatality rates in wars and find out how unlikely surviving a battle is.

Addendum

I haven't thought of anything better yet, but there just has to be something. What about The Riddle-Master of Hed?

Controversial Statements

I've been holding this in for a long time, but I just have to say it: I don't think Dennis L. McKiernan's The Iron Tower is especially suitable for a fighting game. I think you could find better.

En Route to Terror

"Captain, it's November Standard. Isn't it time to take that jack-o'-lantern out of the exercise room?"
"What jack-o'-lantern?"
"The one you bought at port, stored away all this time, and put there for Halloween. It was a nice gesture though."
The captain frowned. "I didn't buy anything of the sort."
A chill gripped the crew of the Calvary, three months out from Sofia on its five-month journey . . . through the depths of space!
Finis




Boo!
Actual Finis

A Common Lament

You've been waiting your whole life for a chance to write "orthopraxy," but it just never comes up. What a fallen world is this.

November

Who needs it? November has no character of its own. It just sits there between October and December, much like your main character stands between the villain and the status quo. Zing!