The Latest Book Technology

Already sensors are being implanted which measure how long the reader looks at certain sentences and dynamically writes new pages based on that information to create infinite stories.

The Most Startling New Fantasy Monster

Half-centaur.

Inexhaustible Virtue and Its Rewards

Once, a man bent over with age dragged himself by his stick from house to house, begging for shelter for the night. Everyone rejected his plea. "We don't have room for you," they said, or, "You smell weird," or, "What are you talking about? You're that wizard who lives in the tower out that way." No matter how many times he told them he wasn't, they still turned him away.
In the end he came to the house of a humble sign painter who gave him a space on the floor and half his supper, which was "too much for me anyway." The next day, when the old man made to leave, he straightened and summoned his customary attire emblazoned with arcane symbols.
"Humble sign painter! I am in fact the wizard who lives in that tower over there! Because you are the only hospitable man in this town, I leave you this gift. It is a bow with the wondrous quality that it supplies its own arrows. Behold."
The sign painter watched the wizard stretch the string whereupon an arrow appeared, already nocked. "Amazing! But I only have one arm. I cannot draw it."
"So what? It's not as if you would have gotten any use out of it anyway. What did you think I wanted you to do, shoot paint arrows? Sell this as a novelty to a rich collector of curiosities, you dunderhead. 'I cannot draw it.' Come on."
And the sign painter did just that. The money enabled him to retire, though he did not. He liked the work.
Finis

Truly Avant-Garde Fantasy

The book contains a map, but not of where the story takes place. Daring! Cheeky, even!

A New Shapeshifting Paradigm

You've heard of losing your clothes. You've heard of keeping your clothes, magically and conveniently. But how about every time you shapeshift, you end up in new clothes, completely out of your control? People like roguelikes and roguelites these days, after all.

Modernizing Fantasy

Instead of a cursed sword, why not a long explanation about fracking? That's what interests people today.

The Dominance of Fantasy

Over the years, fantasy has overtaken science fiction in the speculative fiction field as far as popularity acclaim. The reason for this is simple: We're closer to the future. There isn't as much future fiction left. We're going to run out approximately 2082 at this rate, so find a real job, science fiction idiots.

Addendum

Radscorpion, however, is a less rad name than scorpion by itself.

About Scorpions

Would scorpions be as popular if their name weren't as cool? No. They would not. Scorpion is a rad word for a mediocre animal.

Alien Motivations

"We've finally caught you, space alien! Those decades of coverups were worth it."
The FBI agents sneered at the small gray humanoid tied to the chair.
"How about it, space alien? What do you want? Why were you skulking around the launch site?"
The alien spoke. "We want to find out how you got to your moon. It's so cool. We just bounce around planets. And what's with that internet? How do you guys come up with this stuff? Maybe you have to have cats. We don't have those. Can I have a cat?"
The agents stared at one another.
Finis