Monday, January 23, 2023

The Whig Theory of Entertainment

Behold, the future! Look at that couple, both in perfect physical condition. If you had a way to check, which our technicians most certainly do, you would find flawless genes as well. Eugenics? No, just a few therapeutic sessions.
Where are they going with such sure strides? A restaurant no doubt, you say as dwellers in the past. Not at all. Food became too delicious. Everyone wanted to do nothing but eat. Food is now banned. To a movie theater then? Those all shut down after the perfect movie was made twenty years ago. Everyone owns it for private viewings in their private theater setups, which are superior in visual and audio quality to the professional establishments of the past. To a comedy club for a few laughs is your next guess. They exist, certainly, as do comedians. Those are no longer allowed to tell jokes. Too many audience members laughed till they died.
So where? There is one thing, friends from the past, that we still have not quite got the hang of. Yes, it's just what you think it is: cyberpunk! Cyberpunk novels, cyberpunk TV, cyberpunk games, cyberpunk resorts, and cyberpunk radio dramas are all alive and kicking, and they will continue to be allowed to do so as long as they never actually predict the future or get good.
By that we mean, of course, future good. By the standards of your day, those entertainments are without exception fantastic. So, people of the past, we encourage you to keep looking forward . . . to the future!
Finis

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